A story writing blog

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

TOM WRITES HIS FIRST MOVIE: HALFWAY POINT!!! Lets do something F'd up.

HALFWAY POINT! What? This thing is real. I am actually going to finish this thing someday, I really am.


I am writing my first movie, posting each new page as I go.

Synopsis:

Douglas and Abby have just started a happy life. Abby loves Douglas, Douglas adores Abby. One day there's a break. A psychotic break. Abby finds a room full of her favorite dolls, all torn apart and molested. Disturbed writing scrawled all over the walls. Douglas won't admit to it, he says Abby is very sick. Abby says Douglas is very sick. She wants him gone, he wants her back.
 I collect it all HERE

Today's page:


INT - THE COFFEE SHOP 

Douglas, unshaven and wearing a baseball cap pulled down to his large aviator sunglasses sits watching the world on the other side of the coffee shop window. It's late in the day, people are leaving. Abby exits the building across the street with Bryce, Douglas's jaw tenses. Douglas puts his coffee down and moves out of frame. Outside Abby and Bryce are about to cross the street towards the coffee shop. 

The door chimes announce their entrance into the small coffee shop, the gleeful pair walks straight up to the counter. Behind them Douglas's seat is empty. They place a quick order and leave together. Douglas comes back into frame, now with his coat on. He throws down some change from his pocket to cover his bill and leaves.

INT - DOUGLAS' TRUCK

Douglas is sitting inside an old black truck, watching from a distance as Abby and Bryce load groceries into the car.

INT - ABIGAIL'S KITCHEN

Abigail and Bryce are eating the last of what looks like an incredible meal, Bryce starts to clean up.

ABIGAIL
I feel like I should help you with that.

BRYCE
You don't look like you'd be much help.

ABIGAIL
Food coma. Please tell me there's not desert.

BRYCE
There's desert. 

ABIGAIL
Damn you.

Bryce brings the plates with him back to the kitchen and returns carrying two big, frosting covered cupcakes.

BRYCE
Now you're in trouble.

ABIGAIL
How did you know I love chocolate?

BRYCE
You're a girl.

Abby joyfully bites into her cupcake. It's perfect. She needs a moment.

ABIGAIL
Yes.

BRYCE
Aaaaaaaaand I found something else back there but I need to run it by you first.

ABIGAIL
What?

Bryce hold up a bottle of wine.

ABIGAIL
Oh. Did you want a glass.

BRYCE
Well...that sort of depends on whether or not I am driving home tonight?

ABIGAIL
Ahhhhhhhh...

BRYCE
Yeah...Obviously I'd stay on the couch. I thought maybe it would be fun to share the bottle and make it a late one tonight.

ABIGAIL
That would be fun, it's just...

BRYCE
I am putting the bottle down. It's ok Abby, I get it.

ABIGAIL
Space is just a thing for me right now.

BRYCE
Alone time. I get it. It's ok. 

ABIGAIL
Sorry.

BRYCE
Don't be.

INT - DOUGLAS' CAR

Parked between trees, tucked away in the shadows Douglas' beat up black truck is almost invisible. He's nervously shaking his leg, attention never leaving the view he has of Abby's house. Finally he sees movement, the front door opens. He sits witness to Abigail and Bryce hugging and saying their goodbyes. Bryce heads to his car and starts it up. Douglas breathes an intense sigh of relief.

DOUGLAS
Phewwwwwwww.
Fuck.
Thank you.

Bryce heads off down the road, Douglas waits. After a minute Douglas says one more thank you and starts to drive away. Just as he's making his turn he takes one last look back at the house in the rear view mirror. Something catches his eye. His brakes slam and the truck comes to a stop.

In the rear view mirror Douglas sees something heading towards the house. He sees a figure rushing towards Abby's side window. It's so dark Douglas has trouble following it, he can hardly make out what it's doing. What is it doing? Did it just go in the window? Did something just go inside the house?

Douglas gets out and looks around. He can't see the figure, he's starting to panic. He moves closer, aware of the dangers that come with his being spotted. The window is open, it looks like something pushed it open and crawled through. Douglas can't believe this, he staggers forward, his stagger becomes a full stride rushing towards Abigail's side window. He sees a hand print on the ledge.

He listens, he hears Abigail singing upstairs. She's alone. He enters through the window.

INT - ABIGAIL'S HOUSE

Inside the house it's quiet, Douglas skulks quietly. He's trying to avoid Abigail, he knows how dangerous this is. He can't be seen. He ducks down and surveys the lower floor while Abigail listens to the radio upstairs.  He hears a creak in the hallway, he very carefully investigates. It's so dark, he can't tell if there's someone there or not. He feels it. Someone's there, someone's staring back at him. 

Something catches his eye, movement from the top of the stairs. He sees Abigail, shes staring back at him. Her face white. She screams.

ABIGAIL
Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Douglas motions to Abigail to calm herself, out of the corner of his eye he sees movement in the hallway again. He turns his attention away from Abigail back to the darkness in the front hallway. From out of that darkness a figure stands up, and runs out the front door. Douglas jumps back, startled by what he just saw. He turns back to Abby.

DOUGLAS
Abby! Call the police!

Douglas dashes out the front door after the mystery figure.

Cont'd...

Sunday, March 22, 2015

TOM WRITES HIS FIRST MOVIE: and sometimes it gets a little boring.

So. This entry's going to be boring. I've reached the halfway point on my script (fist pump) and now its time for me to build towards the big moment of this movie. The shift. The climax. The WTF moment.

Unfortunately in order to get there I have to nudge the pieces into place. I need to slow things down a little and get my characters into place. I need to build to this moment organically and give my characters a chance to breath and be people before kicking off my next big shakeup. So here's today's entry. This is Abby showing you that she's determined to get her life back to normal, without Douglas.

If you're interested in reading the whole script up until this point it can be found right HERE.





INT - ABIGAIL'S BEDROOM - MORNING

Abigail is up early despite only getting a few hours of sleep the night before. She looks out of her bedroom window, its a beautiful day. Abigail puts on a pair of slippers and heads out into the hall. Out in the hall she stops in her tracks, down the hallway is a room that still scares her. Its the room where she found the dolls torn apart, the twisted writing that littered the walls has been hastily rolled over with a coat of paint. Abby hurries down the hall and closes the door, that room still unnerves her. The house is very quiet.

Abby heads downstairs to the kitchen. She's startled to see the pantry doors wide open, her body freezes. Something about it looks wrong, the boxes of food look like they've been torn into in a rush. Emptied. Nothing else on the scene seems off, there's no other sign of a break in. Abigail grabs a granola bar out of the pantry and closes it. Soon she's off to work.

INT - ABIGAIL'S OFFICE

Abigail walks across her company's busy main floor to her office, the crowds and familiar faces provide comfort for Abigail now. She feels safest at work when she's surrounded by coworkers. Abigail says her hellos while dropping off her things at her desk, she collects her favorite coffee mug and heads for the kitchen. 

BRYCE
Oh good. You made it.

ABIGAIL
 Hello. 

BRYCE
Hey Abby.

ABIGAIL
Yeah I made it. Sort of, I didn't really sleep.

BRYCE
But you did it. You made it through a whole night alone in that big house. 

ABIGAIL
Yup. I am a big girl.

BRYCE
Hey, don't dismiss that accomplishment Abby. I know I was against it last night but what you did, spending a night in that house alone...it was one of the bravest things I've ever seen.

ABIGAIL
Thank you. 

Abigail pours herself a cup of coffee, then offers Bryce a refill on his. He extends his cup, taking her up on the offer. 

ABIGAIL
Hey while you were going through the house last night, do you remember grabbing a snack from the kitchen?

BRYCE
No. Your dad was the one who checked the kitchen. Why?

ABIGAIL
Nothing, I just...I just forgot to buy groceries I guess.

 BRYCE
Well why don't I help you with that after work?

Abigail hesitates, she's careful to keep her distance with people at the moment. Still feeling like she needs to be by herself for a while, to put the pieces of her life back together before moving on.

BRYCE
Come on. We'll load up. I'll make dinner.

ABIGAIL
Bryce...

BRYCE
I am not asking for a date. I just want to help.

ABIGAIL
Ok...dinner actually sounds amazing. Thanks Bryce.

BRYCE
(smiles)
Anytime.

Abigail heads back to her desk, Bryce takes a minute to enjoy his coffee before heading back. He wanders over to the window. Directly across the street is same coffee shop Douglas was seen loitering at earlier.

Cont'd...

Loitering at?



Sunday, March 15, 2015

TOM WRITES HIS FIRST MOVIE: Focus on the girl.

My name's Thomas. I am writing my first movie. I post everything as I go and collect it all HERE. Or look around a little, I've written shows, shorts, and articles all up in this blog before tackling this movie script business.

Douglas and Abby were madly in love. Douglas had just moved into her beautiful family home in the country, they were happy. Until one day she accused him of mutilating and violating her dolls and writing psychotic messages all over the walls. Douglas is pretty sure he didn't do that. Abby seems absolutely sure that he did. 
Here's today's page:



EXT - ABBY'S DAD'S HOUSE

Abby's car pulls into a small driveway outside of a modest one floor house. Inside the car she collects her things, before reaching for the door handle Abby stops herself and pulls down the overhead mirror. She see's her scar, it's looking more pronounced than before. The makeup has worn off a little. She starts to touch it up with some powder she takes from her bag.


HONK!

The sound of a carhorn behind her startles Abby, powder is flung into the air. Filling her lungs. She starts to choke and quickly exits the car.

BRYCE
Abby!

Bryce emerges from the truck behind Abby's and runs to her. 

BRYCE
Are you ok?

ABIGAIL
Yeah, pffffffffffttt...
That horn just made me jump and I got makeup in my mouth.

BRYCE
My fault. I am sorry.

ABIGAIL
It's ok.

Abigail hugs him.

ABIGAIL
Thank you so much for coming.

BRYCE
Of course Abby but...I don't think you should be doing this.

ABIGAIL
I knowww. My dad keep's saying that.

BRYCE
Your dad might be right.

ABIGAIL
My dad hasn't slept since I've been staying here. He stays up all night, everytime a car's headlights pass by he has to look out the window. If I want things to go back to normal then things have to go back to normal.

BRYCE
Yeah but...

ABIGAIL
I haven't heard from him in weeks, and we changed the locks. 

BRYCE
I don't like it.

ABIGAIL
I need to go home. 


Bryce can see that she means it. 

Off camera a door swings open. The pair turns to see Abigail's father Richard. He has a concerned look in his face.

INT - RICHARDS HOUSE

Inside Richard's small home boxes are everywhere, they're being filled by Abigail and Bryce. Richard isn't helping, he's actively trying to get her to stay.

RICHARD
One more week!

ABIGAIL
Will one more week actually make me any safer?

RICHARD
Yes! 

ABIGAIL
Ok. I get it, I am scared to go back too but I have to. I haven't been alone in weeks. I need to be by myself, I need to be somewhere where I can just cry and process everything that happened. I need to go home.

Richard relents.

RICHARD
I am going to be checking on you, keeping an eye out for anything. I'll drive past every couple hours,

ABIGAIL
You don't need to do that.

RICHARD
It's happening.

BRYCE
Abby?

Abigail turns her attention back to Bryce.

BRYCE
I think we're good here, I think we can get this in one trip.

Abby gives her father one last reassuring look before picking up her box and heading out the door.

On the drive up the men keep suspicious eyes on every car that passes.

INT - ABIGAIL'S HOUSE

Inside the house Abby waits with the boxes in the front hallway, Richard and Bryce are going through the house. They look under every bed and inside every closet. Bryce rushes back up from the basement holding his nose.

ABIGAIL
Told you.

Bryce takes a second to catch his breath.

BRYCE
I didn't see anything down there. Shelves, a cot, Christmas decorations, lots of garbage.

Richard emerges from one of the rooms and comes down the stairs.

RICHARD
I think we should do one more sweep, you check all the rooms I checked and I'll check yours.

ABIGAIL
You both looked everywhere. I saw you look underneath the dresser. He's not a hamster; dad.

RICHARD
Just for tonight maybe I should stay on the couch.

ABIGAIL
I love you dad. No.

RICHARD
Then let him.

BRYCE
I don't mind.

ABIGAIL
Thank you. But no. Please.

Bryce and Richard share a concerned but defeated look. Eventually both giving Abigail a strong hug and well wishes before departing. Abigail closes the door, alone in the house for the first time since the attack.

INT - ABIGAIL'S BEDROOM

Abigail settles into her bed, it's dark and very quiet. She's visibly nervous.

She hears a car approach, the sound startles her and she jumps out of bed and heads to the window. She's shaking. 

As the car pulls around the dark corner she feels relief when she recognizes that it belongs to Richard. Her dad's doing just what he said, he's keeping watch. She heads back to bed and forces her eyes closed. 

Darkness.

...CONT'D

Monday, March 9, 2015

TOM WRITES HIS FIRST MOVIE: This this is my life now.

Once again...

My name's Thomas. I am writing my first movie. I post everything as I go and collect it all HERE.

Douglas and Abby were madly in love. Douglas had just moved into her beautiful family home in the country, they were happy. Until one day she accused him of mutilating and violating her dolls and writing psychotic messages all over the walls. Douglas is pretty sure he didn't do that. Abby seems absolutely sure that he did. 

When it's finished I guess I'll try to send it out there, I actually have no idea how to do that but let's take it one thing at a time here. Here's today's page.



Cont'd...


GRANT
What can you do? She thinks you're trying to kill her. Her dad put a gun to your head and told you to keep away and the police are watching you.

DOUGLAS
Still though.

GRANT
Go back to work. Give it some time.

DOUGLAS
Fuck work.

GRANT
Doug, step away from this for a bit.

DOUGLAS
Step away? She broke her face!

GRANT
That's MY point. She BROKE her own fucking face. This is a bad situation, back the hell away. I know you love this girl and I know your heart is broken and I know you're worried about her but you need to leave that girl alone. She's psycho. She's legit psycho. Stay away from that girl.

DOUGLAS
It's easy to say that..

GRANT
Stay away from that girl!

DOUGLAS
I can't.

GRANT
Stay the FUCK away from that girl.


Douglas doesn't respond. 

GRANT
Don't FUCK your life up. Stay away from that girl!

INT - A COFFEE SHOP

Douglas pick up his order at a coffee shop and sits by the window. He's wearing a pair of sunglasses and his beard has grown in a little. Its bright by the window, he puts on a cap. He sits looking out the window, eyes trained on the door of an office building across the street. He watches people coming in and out, smiling. It's striking to him how carefree they all seem, its something Douglas is envious of.

Then SHE comes out the door.

Douglas' face saddens. She still has a bruise over her eye, it's been touched up with makeup but it's noticeable. Her coworkers hug her meaningfully, as though they all know what's happening and are being extra supportive of her. A few of them walk her to her car, they're keeping an eye out for anyone suspicious. For the first time it occurs to Douglas that there are people out there who think that he's a predator. A complete psycho who attacks helpless women. He pulls his hat down lower on his face and breaks his stare with the window. He tries to look casual, he takes a sip of coffee. Outside the window Abby hugs her coworkers goodbye. She takes one last look around before getting into her car and driving away. Douglas watches her pull away.

Cont'd...