THE SECOND TIME BEN GOT STABBED

I had to run outside in the bitter cold of winter at 12 am just to get some STUPID margarine.

HOUSE ARRESTED - A peek inside a house where a robber, a gangster, a psychopath and an innocent man are all under house arrest and can't leave.

Yeah I dropped the cop from the show.



BENJAMIN and CONRAD and in the kitchen, BENJAMIN's cooking at the stove.

CONRAD
YOU DON'T MAKE SOMEONE ELSE'S EGGS BENJAMIN!

BENJAMIN
I'll make you some.

CONRAD
YOU WILL ONLY MAKE ME SOME, no one else is eating my eggs. Why the HELL are you touching them?

BENJAMIN goes to answer but CONRAD's still going, he cuts him off.

CONRAD
How about I touch something of yours! How about I touch your bread!

CONRAD pulls out a whole load of bread from the pantry and stomps on it.

CONRAD
And your bullshit cookies.

CONRAD stomps the box to the ground, he continues to destroy all the food BENJAMIN has and some of his shirts.

CONRAD
It was STUPID of you to touch my eggs. It was STUPID of you to touch my eggs.

ANDRE rounds the corner into the kitchen.

ANDRE
Yo, are those my eggs?

ANDRE takes the eggs from BENJAMIN's hand, noticing the mess but not acknowledging it.

CONRAD
What are you doing?

ANDRE
I asked BENJAMIN to make me some eggs.

CONRAD
He used MY eggs.

ANDRE
You don't have eggs, you traded me all of yours for a favor.

CONRAD
What favor?

ANDRE
I told you if you traded me your eggs I would protect you from JEREMEY.

CONRAD
And you didn't he stabbed me last week.

BENJAMIN
Wait a minute, you told me that you'd protect me from JEREMEY if I made you breakfast.

ANDRE
Don't worry, I've got my eye out for him.

ANDRE walks away.

They're silent for a second, BENJAMIN smiles, he's about to say something when JEREMEY bursts out from underneath the table and stabs him in the stomach with the scissors.

 

BENJAMIN

OH GOD!

THIS CAME OUT OF MY BRAIN!

HOUSE ARRESTED - An internet series about a group of guys under house arrest and the dumb officer who's in charge of them.

CONRAD (mean), ANDRE (clever), BENJAMIN (innocent), JEREMEY (psycho).


Webcam - Officer Carp's room

OFFICER CARP

This is police constable Allan Carp with a video report for the stabbing attack that occurred recently at this location. The attack involved BENJAMIN Baroney who was the victim in this incident, BENJAMIN was convicted of being an accessory to a felony. His attacker was JEREMEY Fish who's under psychic evaluation while staying here. He's diagnosed as an extreme schizophrenic. This incident was as follows.  

Security footage - Kitchen table - BENJAMIN and JEREMEY are eating lunch, JEREMEY is taking keen interest in BENJAMIN.

JEREMEY

There's goblins inside you.

BENJAMIN looks perplexed, he tries to ignore it. JEREMEY makes him uncomfortable.

JEREMEY

I hate goblins. They get inside you and take your food away.

BENJAMIN

Hey, have you been taking your medication?

ANDRE runs into the room, he's worried and grabs a nearby broom as a weapon. 

ANDRE

JEREMEY, you're taking your medication right?

JEREMEY doesn't answer, his eyes are locked on BENJAMIN.

CONRAD strolls into the room.

ANDRE

Careful CONRAD, JEREMEY might be off his medication.

CONRAD

Yeah I never really saw the big deal about that. Have you seen him? What's the worst he can do really?

JEREMEY

Hey CONRAD?

CONRAD

What's up?

JEREMEY

There's goblins in BENJAMIN's stomach

CONRAD

Yeah probably

ANDRE

Don't encourage him, this guy's crazy.

CONRAD

No he's not, BENJAMIN put goblins in his stomach; he told me.

JEREMEY

He did?

CONRAD

Oh yeah.

BENJAMIN

No. CONRAD he's getting excited, we should probably stop now.

ANDRE

Yeah it's not funny dude. JEREMEY, no matter what the voices you're hearing are telling you; BENJAMIN doesn't have any goblins in his stomach

JEREMEY

Is that true CONRAD?

CONRAD

I don't believe it.

BENJAMIN

CONRAD!

ANDRE

ITS NOT FUNNY, this is serious.

JEREMEY

Show me your belly.

BENJAMIN is hesitant but eventually complies and lifts his shirt for JEREMEY.

ANDRE

See, no goblins. 

BENJAMIN

Can we stop this now? 

CONRAD

No! I am still not convinced.

ANDRE 

CONRAD!

CONRAD

WHAT? This is funny. So he thinks BENJAMIN has goblins inside of him. Maybe he does, maybe we all do. You need to calm do...

Before he can finish his sentence JEREMEY makes a move towards BENJAMIN and plunges a pair of scissors into his stomach. Everyone reacts with horror. ANDRE jumps on JEREMEY.

BENJAMIN 

Oh god!

Webcam - Officer Carp's room

OFFICER CARP

Luckily for BENJAMIN the scissors didn't penetrate deeply and he was treated. I've recommended we move JEREMEY from the house but no one will take him. BENJAMIN maintains there were no goblins in his belly.

CALL OF DUTY BLACK OPS 2 TOMORROW!!! also here's my breakdown.

I am back from vacation and Call of Duty comes out tomorrow!! Think about that for a second, we just had a long weekend and Call of Duty comes out on the Tuesday AFTER the long weekend. THINK ABOUT THAT!!!! Why??????? Why? Am I supposed to take time off work to go pick it up? WHY? There was a perfectly good Friday or Saturday release date right there for the taking but they decide to wait until TUESDAY? It makes no sense to me.


Anyway check this out, I was playing Uncharted 3 for the first time in a while and I was getting ready to take a pic of the screen to show to a friend who just recently finished the game. Just as I clicked the button to take the picture I was shot dead, I figured that I only got a pic of the death screen. That black and white screen you get when your character dies...however I got this instead. The exact SECOND that I was shot dead, captured on camera.

And here's how the show is coming along:

The House Arrested is an internet comedy consisting of 2-8 minute videos which revolve around the happenings of a correctional house where the occupants are convicted felons all under house arrest as told by Police Constable Benjamin Carp.

Character Descriptions:

Tom - Arrested for Grand Larceny when he tried to crack a bank machine. Tom is of above average intelligence but displays signs of paranoia and a petty lust for revenge.

Anthony - Arrested for Assault and bribery. Anthony is well connected outside of the house, he's an "acquisitions specialist" making his money and reputation on being able to get anything he's payed to get. He's able to smuggle whatever he wants into the house.

Matthew - Matthew was the unwilling accomplice during a robbery and high speed chase when his friend robbed a McDonalds and sped off with Matthew in the car. He is completely out of place and hated throughout the house.

Jerome - Arrested for Assault, Stalking, Breaking and Entering and threats of violence. Jerome is psychotic and under constant psychiatric evaluation. He lives in the house as a means of rehabilitation, trying to get him interacting with others.

Richard - Arrested for Fraud and Embezzlement. Richard was an investment banker who defrauded his shareholders and clients, he is highly educated and exerts and air of superiority towards the common riff-raff he's forced to live and interact with.

Police Constable Benjamin Carp - Benjamin is the house authority, his duty is to maintain order and administration within the house and report back to his superiors. He isn't particularly competent and is easily manipulated by the inmates.

THIS IS ME STRUGGLING WITH A SCRIPT

This 'House Arrested' script is killing me. Its such a good, simple and easy to shoot idea (click here) I feel like I need to see it through but its so much easier for me to write when I have an idea of who'll be in it. I usually write around actors I know and in this case I have no one in mind.

I know I want one cop who the housemates can manipulate

I know I want one hothead, one smooth criminal type and definitely one weird psycho

and that's it. Actually is that it? Do I want more characters than that? I can always have background people in the house so it seems full of occupants at any given time but I can just focus on my few main characters.


Hmmmm...maybe I should add a woman. How would she fit? I could also use one guy who doesn't belong there. Someone who's actually innocent and is completely out of place in this world.

I found this by searching "really white guy"

Sorry guys I am literally just typing everything I think, this is pure stream of thought. This is me slowly trying to work out a script that gets the movie projector in my head rolling. Once I come up with a cast I like I'll naturally start daydreaming about it and that's where I need to get.

Getting there.

-Thomas Holler