A story writing blog

Sunday, September 30, 2012

BACK TOMORROW



That picture down there was the most confusing can of corn I've ever purchased. I think like most of you my cans of corn have always been very straight forward, this can takes those conventions and throws them on their heads, then spits in their faces and steps on their necks. I am calling the police.

Back to it tomorrow with a new script, I really don't know what though. I'll come up with something if it kills me though (and it probably won't). It won't be about corn.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

FEELING UNINSPIRED


Yeah, that's a pretty good representation of how I've felt lately, just uninspired and unmotivated to work and wow; that orangutang (spelled that right on the first try btw) eats pretty healthy doesn't he?

I plan on writing more new material soon, I actually kind of have to but lately I've just been blanking. I am in a funk, sometimes I get in funks. I'll pop out of it soon, the weekend starts tomorrow so hopefully I can be productive. I WILL be productive.


I was going through my old catalog of scripts and damn, I've actually written a lot. A show about middle class people who start a gang, a short about someone not being sure what his background is so he and his pal go on a borderline racist quest to find out if he's black or not (they play basketball and dance) and here's on oldie I dug out:

A little story about a guy who woke up after a party and realized a woman had raped him, he's on a quest to either have her arrested or to get her number. It totally depends on whether or not she's hot. I'm not crazy about it to be honest, I like the concept so it's worth revising someday.



OPEN: Tom and Chip are sitting with a middle aged, no nonsense cop. He’s at his desk and Tom and Chip are sitting across from him in chairs. Chip has a black eye.


COP
So I am to understand that your friend here was raped?

The camera pans around to see TOM and CHIP sitting there.

CHIP
Yes, that's correct.

TOM
By a girl. I want to make that very clear! That much I am sure of.

CHIP
He called me early this morning and confided in me what happened. I am the one who advised him to come here.

COP
And you are?

CHIP
I am Chip, I am a friend of his and I was with him on the night in question but I left before the incident happened.

COP
I see. Do we know who did this to you mr...?

TOM
Tom, and no. That's the problem.

COP
Do you feel you were drugged?

TOM
I think so, I remember it happening but I kept passing out. I had one drink that night and it was bought for me by some girl in green. I just remember lots of green.

COP
Well we'll certainly look into this, we'll need details to help us find this person. So you'll be looking to press charges then?

TOM
Well that totally depends what she looks like


COP
Why should that have any bearing on this case?

TOM
Because if she's pretty then I have no problem with what she did.

CHIP
No, why would you? At that point it's just annoying that she roofied you and made you forget everything.

COP
legally speaking it's a serious offense regardless of appearance.

CHIP
But morally speaking, it's only wrong if she's ugly.

TOM
Yeah if this girl turns out to be ugly I want her locked up like a little pig for touching me. That's a horrible thing to do to someone, do you understand what a violation like that feels like?

COP
And if she's attractive?

TOM
Then how lucky am I? Honestly.

CHIP
Oh my god. If she turns out to be sexy can you imagine? You could write a penthouse letter about that. If she's attractive it goes from being a tragic story about someone taking advantage of you to something we can all high five about.

TOM
Seriously if she turns out to be attractive then all I want from you is her contact info.

COP
That’s not how this works. What information can you give me?

TOM
It happened at a bar in Peterborough

COP
Peterborough?

He looks quizzically at his form.


COP
According to this that’s at 4 hour drive from your home. Why were you all the way up there?

CHIP
Irrelevant

COP
I’ll decide what’s relevant.

TOM
We were just driving around.

COP
Why were you on those roads.

CHIP
Don’t tell him. WE PLEAD THE 5TH.

TOM
You’re making it sound so much worse

COP
Somebody tell me what you were doing on a country road at near 2 in the morning! What were you planning on doing all the way out there in the middle of nowhere?

TOM
Burying a cat.

COP
You killed a cat?

TOM
You just assume that?

CHIP
No one killed the cat, it was my cat. I loved that cat.

COP
You drove 3 hours out of the city to bury your cat?

CHIP
(Irritable)
I would have driven for days if that’s how long it took to find a beautiful spot. What do you do with your cats; throw them in a dumpster?

One of the other officers in the room whispers to COP

COP
My associate just informed me that we responded to a domestic disturbance call that same night, the complainee said that two men were burying some trash in his yard and got into a physical confrontation with him. He’s on his way right now to file a complaint, why don’t you two stick around for that.

TOM
I am filing a complaint against him. He was way over the top, he threw a dead cat at me.

CUT to footage of the man approaching Tom and Chip as they begin to dig a ditch on his property. An argument ensues, Tom picks up the dead cat and throws it at the man, the man catches it and throws it back at Tom, hitting him. Chip freaks out over his cat being tossed around.  The man tells them to find someplace else.

COP
Something tells me you’re going to be here a while. Why don’t you finish your story. After you and your friend here were through burying your friend’s cat what did you do?

CHIP
I said a few words. Something off the cuff I believe.

Cut to shot of Tom and Chip in a nice field, standing by a small grave. Chip pulls out several tear soaked pages of paper and begins to read his eulogy.

COP
And then you headed to the bar?

CHIP
Yes

CUT to a shot back at the house where they had the confrontation with The MAN, Tom and Chip pull up and sneak out of their car and towards the house. Once they get there CHIP sneaks up to the man’s front door and starts peeing on it.

CUT to the 3 of them arguing on the doorstep after the man answers the door

CUT to Tom pulling out of the driveway fast with the man chasing them with a bat. Chip is unconscious in the back seat. Tom pulls into a bar and sits down at the bar. A woman voice says “Excuse me, you look like you had a hard day, want a drink?” and we fade out to the police station.

TOM
I go in, I sit down and someone hands me a drink. I don’t remember who, I can’t remember any faces. I just remember green. She was wearing green. We ended up back at my place, I remember bits and pieces of what she did to me but I was almost completely out of it. I don’t remember if she was hot or not.

COP
Once again we will not discriminate based on a person’s physical appearance, a crime is a crime whether you’re attractive or not. Is that understood?

TOM
Not really

CHIP
It makes no sense to me.

TOM
One the one hand, if she’s unattractive; or you know what? Even if she’s just kind of average, then what she did is sickening. I’ll never get over that. But on the other hand if she’s really hot I get over it pretty quickly

COP
I am no longer interested in helping you.


SCENE 2: Tom and Chip are driving

TOM
That’s why I didn’t want to go to the police in the first place.

CHIP
Well if there’s one good thing that come out of it; it’s that it jogged our memory. Now we can head back to that bar and ask some question.

TOM
And if there’s one bad thing to come out of it?

CHIP
Then it would probably be all the fines we ended up getting.

TOM
How much did yours total out to?

CHIP
A little under a thousand dollars.

TOM
Mine was only half that but you flipped them off on the way out.

CHIP
That was costly.

CUT to chip flipping the police off as he leaves, only to be tackled and re-arrested.

CHIP
So what if we find this girl? What are you going to say to her?


TOM
I am going to say “You sick twisted bitch. You’re the scum of the Earth. Someone who preys on other people. Someone...

CHIP
...Someone so vile, so weak , you can’t even control your own urges? Go die.

TOM
You DRUG me to get me into bed? You disgusting cow. You’re ROBBED me of my peace of mind. FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, I will never have peace of mind again because of what you did to me. You bitch, you criminal. I hate you. You’ve destroyed my life, I’ll NEVER put this back together again. A piece will always be missing, A PIECE YOU STOLE. I HOPE YOU DIE!

CHIP
Ok but what if she turns out to be hot


TOM
I am going to be like...What’s going on? Ummm, I had a good time last night. You didn’t have to drug (laughs) you didn’t have to drug me but mistakes happen aaaand if you want to get together again sometime here’s my cell number. Feel free to call it.

CHIP
That sounds good.


SCENE 4: Tom and Chip pull up to a bar and get out, they enter and walk around for a little bit. Checking out the people.

Close up on Tom as we hear a familiar voice.

WAITRESS 1
Oh hey it’s you again.

WAITRESS 1 is absolutely beautiful and dressed in an all green waitress uniform.

TOM
Excuse me?

WAITRESS 1
I am so sorry for what I did, I hope you’re okay. I had a lot of fun with you last night, I know you’re probably mad but I just need you to know that.





Beat.
TOM
Oh no...no no no, don’t worry about it. I am fine. It was a bit weird but I am glad you did it. It was a lot of fun actually. If I am being totally honest I am hoping we can make it happen again, but I don’t want to put any pressure on you.

WAITRESS 1
Not at all, I’ll go get her for you.

TOM
What?

WAITRESS 1
My co-worker Cathy. I am so glad to hear that you guys hit it off, she didn’t say anything about it when we talked so I wasn’t sure. Again I am sorry I passed you off onto her but she liked and I already have a boyfriend.

CATHY enters from the back wearing the same green uniform.  She’s very unattractive. She sees Tom.

CATHY
Oh shit

CATHY looks at Tom, mouth agape. Waitress 1 looks at Cathy, smiling. Tom looks at waitress 1 and then over to Cathy slowly, his shocked face turning to disgust.



Beat

TOM
You sick twisted bitch...


END












Sunday, September 16, 2012

LORD GIVE ME ACTORS!



So there's this site http://www.xtranormal.com/ it allows you to put a couple animated characters into a scene with fixed settings, you can chose from an array of movements and camera angles and can even make them talk. Like Stephen Hawking.

You have very, very limited control and as a writer I like that, if forces you to build a story around the few scenes you can choose from and work around the limitations. Again, the BIGGEST limitation of these things are the voices. They use similar tech Stephen Hawking's speaking system so...

A long time ago I made a bunch and just re-discovered them, give these a play and TRY TRY TRY to get past the audio.







Ok the voice changes in this next one, they changed the voice options on me so I had to make do with what I had.



Thursday, September 13, 2012

My Computer Broke Again. Blogger App.

In the meantime here's a picture of the best sandwich I ever made.

Bagel
Bacon
Gormet salami
Tomato
Onion
Old fashioned Dijon
Cheese

As an added bonus here is a picture of that same sandwich after I added a bunch of space effects. Art.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

KILLRAZOR!!!!



So today I don't have a story (once again,the point of this blog is that I write one page of a script a day, any script) I did my page but I've decided to wait until it's finished so that I can just post it as one complete story.

It's about two guys who are tied up in a dirty little shack by a woman and their confusion as to whether or not they're being murdered or are they about to have some incredibly weird sex with her.

In the meantime though I want to introduce you guys to an obscure character from an obscure comic called Codename Strykeforce by Image Comics. He's one of those characters that just drew me in when I was a kid because his character design was so cool. His name is Killrazor, as he can punch sizable razors out of any part of his body which can be useful (pretty much exclusively) for killing; it's a good name. Imagine if Wolverine could punch his claws out of ANYWHERE on his body. Yes, he would still probably just use his wrists but so does Killrazor. My point is this...


THIS!

Yes. He's a ninja, obviously and like most ninja's he adheres to a strict code of silence, the man has only ever made a noise once in his life and it was after eating some very spicy food. That's not a joke either, I remember that being specifically stated in one of the issues. He never talks so all of a sudden he's like Snake Eyes from GI Joe if Snake Eyes could PUNCH HUGE RAZORS OUT OF ANY PART OF HIS BODY.

Here he is showing you all that he's cooler than this other 'claw' guy named Ripclaw (pffffffttt).


I remember that issue, Ripclaw was trying to impress KR with how long he can make his claws stretch. Without saying a word Killrazor says "F**k your claws" and "You're making as asshole out of yourself".


Killrazor


I'd tell you a lot more about his origin but it wasn't explored in depth, he has a wiki-page you can visit (
http://www.comicvine.com/killrazor/29-21927/) you'll notice it's lacking. He only made a handful of appearances but each one of them gave us pictures that hits our eyes like a shot of whiskey hits our mouths.




One other area where he separates himself from Wolverine is that it hurts him to pop his Razors out, each time comes with a painful cost.


Really, what help were the neck Razors with those arrows?

The only thing uglier and more disgusting than his scarred up body is his gingery red hair.


Kill F'N Razor


-APE-

-END-





Sunday, September 9, 2012

Short Story About A Ghostbusting Team



Today I wrote a teaser story (trailer) about a government sponsored ghostbusting team.

INT - A dark, narrow crawl space.

OPEN: Open on a shot of a brightly lit tracking device that Ervin is looking into. Ervin and his partner Rooney are crawling through this crawlspace, both have on workmen's uniforms with the term "D.O.P.E" stitched onto them. Rooney is holding a flashlight.

ROONEY
I am gonna get bit. I always do.

ERVIN
Stay close to me and I'll watch your back.

He stops

ERVIN
DOWN!
Rooney hits the ground, something blasts past them, knocking over several boxes.

ROONEY
Why do I do this?

ERVIN
It's your job.

ROONEY
AND I HATE IT! It's a crappy job and the pay SUCKS!

ERVIN
I do ok.

ROONEY
You're a supervisor and you don't do that well. I am tired of this. Look at the crap they ask us to do. Crawl around a gross crawlspace looking for some disgusting creature that can HURT us BTW.

ERVIN
Oh big time, these things have inch long knife shaped teeth and four long, needle sharp claws on their fingers. They're MEAN too.

ROONEY
I know! I've been attacked by these things. MANY times. I HATE this job.

ERVIN
BACK!

Ervin grabs Rooney and pulls him back quickly, both men fall over. The box that was beside Rooney's head explodes. Rooney points the flashlight at it, he sees large claw marks.

ERVIN
So look for a new job.

ROONEY
Do you know how hard that is? I can't use any of what I do here on my resume.

ERVIN
Yes you can, you just need to make it sound better. Don't put down that you worked for the Department of Paranormal Events; just put down that you worked for the government. If they find out where you worked just tell them you were in administrations, you processed claims applications for hauntings, possessions, demonic visitations, zombifications, vampireification...just don't tell anyone you're in investigations and removals. I know one of the admin managers; he'll fake a reference if I ask him to.

ROONEY
Why don't you just tell him to get me a job up there?

Rooney's flashlight goes out.

 ROONEY
We get the cheapest flashlights.

ERVIN
Yeah...

Rooney turns. From over the shoulder of the two men we see them facing down the most viscous looking toothed beast. Rooney jumps back, startled.


ERVIN
We get cool guns though.

They pull out their ionic poppers.

Which look like PS3 Move sub machine guns

Glowing guns that shoot concentrated lazer blasts which explode when making contact with the beast. The beast explodes, covering both men in pink slime.

ROONEY
I hate this job.


-END-


Picture source - http://wtf-film.com/site/tag/tim-hildebrandt/

Short James Dean Poem



I also wrote this for a poetry assignment, it's a specific kind of poem that's structured in a specific kind of way. I totally forget what though. James Dean is probably my all time favorite actor.



Little Bastard’s Last Ride:

California State Highway 46 streaks eastward from the city of Paso Robles, leaving behind the last remnant of city. Windblown barns and oddly beautiful desert is the only view for miles, for most this is temporary. Most travel east through Cholame feeling a slight sense of adventure as the highway parts the powerful Temblor Mountains which have a reputation for being the epicenter of earthquakes past. Soon the road splits, both ways lead back to civilization, both lead back to the friendly out of the way towns found by more tourists than it seems possible. He was just like the rest of them, heading toward Bakersfield on the same highway he had been on for hours, he saw the same sights and had the same urge to get back into town. When another car heading toward him made a simple turn onto the 41, a shockwave would be sent; picked up on by every youth in every country around the world. He was not like them. On a hot day in the middle of nowhere, a few miles outside his destination, James Dean became a casualty, a cautionary tale and an icon. He was not like them.





-Thomas Holler-